Being authentic & true to yourself is one of the biggest tasks we all face. We all wish to feel listened to & appreciated, yet we so often spend our time with family members and friends who are physically there, but mentally and emotionally they’re off in their own world. You can tell they are not giving you their undivided attention, thinking of what they want to say next or maybe not even listening at all.
Do you want to have people around you who listen to you?
What about feeling supported no matter what?
It’s important to have people around you who who believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. So this means digging deep for the strength to recognise which people help you dock your boat on the shore & those who will cause it to sink will help you along your journey through life.
Communication is how we master our business and personal relationships, but this means being able to listen, to yourself and to others. Research suggests that the average person hears between 20,000 and 30,000 words during the course of a 24-hour period. But many many of those really sink in amidst the need to multi-task to get an endless to-do list done and feel somewhat good about yourself?
Earlier this year, I held a workshop all about authentic and emotional expression offering a safe place for people to feel truly heard and speak their truth. Some exercises were intended for pairs so one could speak to the other without interruption, without nodding, question asking or loss of eye contact.
It was a very powerful experience for everyone in the workshop. They were able to connect to their authentic selves. Through looking so deeply into the others eyes they saw into their soul, and quite possible showed that person more of who they were than they had to most people before.
All of our relationships are a reflection of who we have been and how we show up in the world. If people aren’t being authentic, then there’s a chance you haven’t been either.
When you bury your true power deep within, by choosing to avoid it or ignore it by staying the same and in your comfort zone, your relationships will reflect that. It’s essentially an ‘energetic agreement’ and people get used to the person you’ve always been. When I began doing a lot of work on myself and hired a mentor, someone close to me said that I was trying to be someone else, but in actual fact I was searching for my own authenticity and true happiness.
When you go on your own journey and look within for answers instead of seeking to fill up externally, your energy shifts and naturally you begin to connect with new people who reflect your new state of being. You’ll find that people you once spent a lot of time with and felt were close to you no longer share the same kind of connection. This is perfectly normal.
Do not avoid your inner strength, your authentic self through fear of how it affects your current relationships. People in your life that are worth keeping will love you for you and wish you to be happy no matter what you do. The ones that criticise, judge, make fun of you, give you backhanded compliments & always try to be better than you are the ones who have their own fears and insecurities and are threatened by your evolution.
Wouldn’t you prefer to be around less people that love you for who you really are? Instead of having loads of ‘friends’ that love the person you show them, but isn’t your authentic self? Having done both myself, I know which I prefer!
4 years ago, one of my mentors told me that people are in your life in one of 3 ways:
A short moment in time (whether a kiss in a bar, a moment in the supermarket, a smile across the room, a brief introduction at a party)
A short period in time (could be a partner, friendship, business over 6 months, 5 years, 10 years whatever feels right for you.)
The biggest struggle is that people have is letting go of those who have been in their life a short period of time. It feels as though you ‘should’ be able to still connect with that person having already gone through so much together. Instead of ‘shoulding’, just appreciate all of the times you did have together and stay present to how it is now.
Too many people live in the past of how things used to be instead of getting on with how things are and you miss it. You miss it all. You are not cutting those people out, but simply acknowledging that you have grown into a person that no longer connects with this person.
4 STEPS TO RISE UP AS THE AUTHENTIC YOU
Name the people who lift you up & enhance you. Which people want you to win? Who criticises & doesn’t listen?
Where does the judgement come from? Who in your life is a negative draining energy?
Accepting relationships change is one of the biggest parts in your own growth. Acceptance of how things have evolved will empower you to step into your power, rise up and show the world all of who you are.
3. LET GO
Once you accept, it’s time to let go. Just like Kate let go of Leo in Titanic, you have to move on for your own sake. When you let go of old ties, you create space for the new. This is often the hardest part for most people, but where you show the most courage.
When you let go you have space for the new beautiful energetic relationship that reflect who you are now showing up in the world as. When you choose those who enhance you lift you up and those who are happy for the other to freely shine, this is the fuel to rekindling your fire.
Maybe it is time to do a relationship cleanse. It’s not cutting out, just letting go so you can be free.
Peace & love