In my life at the moment, there are a few couples either splitting up or going through some very tough times in their relationship. It’s very sad to see so many people going through such heartbreak.
From what I know and that’s of course not the whole story, there is one thing all these relationships could benefit from. But looking in on these situations is always easy. How many times can you give advice to others yet struggle to look at your own situation with the same objectivity?!
Of course, it is part of my job to be able to look in with understanding, compassion & empathy. Looking in on your own situation gives you perspective, awareness and the ability to improve those situations without hurting anyone, at least with as little hurt as possible. With awareness, you can then COMMUNICATE openly and honestly, without any fear of creating an argument.
Expanding your own awareness & putting your ego’s needs aside is what will transform your relationship with yourself and your partner. Be willing to look at all of who you are and how you can be your best self. This is what will create a free-flowing beautiful relationship.
When you open your heart, you open yourself up to hurt. But the love and joy you feel by fully opening up is what makes you feel alive and know how f*cking amazing life can be. It gives you a sense of your best self. Love is what makes the world go round and it connects us all at our hearts and souls. I allowed myself to be fully open when I met Mogli. It created a deep & open relationship and I found so many incredible feelings we shared.
As the famous saying goes, “It’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all.” I believe it’s a part of life to open your heart, fall in love, go through difficult times and either pull through those stronger or be left picking up the pieces.
But I really believe so much hurt and heartbreak can be avoided or at least managed better if we are more aware and conscious as to who we are being in each and every moment. I believe depth of open hearted and honest communication is what is missing from so many relationships.
How do you communicate in your relationship?
Communication, or lack of, is the biggest problem in the breakdown of most relationships. Perhaps a problem created by our culture, we don’t know how to communicate openly. Fear arises when it comes to opening your heart. We get scared to tell someone they are doing something ‘wrong’ or when something bothers you. We hold back from saying what we really feel in case it hurts or upsets the other.
Open-hearted communication is the best thing we could ever have in our relationships.
But when you hold back what you really feel, it stays inside you and grows like a weed in the garden that’s left unattended. It builds up and builds up until one day you don’t recognise the person you are or the person you’re with. Like a switch is flipped you see them differently. Relationships don’t need to break down in this way, where it feels like a bomb has been dropped & all of a sudden your reality is completely different.
Self awareness creates a whole different level of relationships. It creates a way to be more in control of your thoughts, accepting of your emotions and conscious of how your actions affect you and your partner.
It gives you control of the ‘bomb detonator’ so to speak, so you don’t have it go off unexpectedly. You can actually throw it away because your consistently working on your relationship instead of allowing it to breakdown behind your awareness.
Answers these questions to help you up-level your relationship:
How can you improve your communication with your partner about how you really feel?
What have you been scared to bring up for fear of causing an argument?
Write down 5 things you are grateful for about your partner AND your relationship.
Life is for loving, so remember to love yourself enough to stop burying your emotions.
Peace & love