Why Our Obsession With Certainty Creates A Clarity Roadblock

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no clarity this way

In the western world we live in a society of rules, regulations, certainty & conformity. The need to conform is conditioned so deep within us through an inherent desire to belong.  The fear of rejection and wondering what others think generally overtakes the desire to achieve great things, do things differently or be who you really are.

But conforming isn’t natural. It isn’t who you are. 

Think of yourself as water, well we are made up primarily of water, but go on just imagine yourself as water. Imagine you move through life the way water does… flowing, adapting your pace, your pressure & temperature depending on where you are. Ever changing with your environment. So why do most of us go through life as stagnant water? Look at the stagnant pool of water. It is lifeless, nothing grows there, in fact it attracts pesky flies and insects. Nothing flourishes in stagnant water, how could it?

stagnant water

How Do We Become Stagnant?

The answer is simple – when we stay on our comfort zone. Just like flies fester in stagnant water, our confidence festers in our comfort zone. We stay where we know it is safe, secure and we won’t get hurt. We conform to stay with the crowd instead of breaking away from the fester and launching ourselves into the realm of the unfamiliar. Why do people stay in relationships that don’t serve them? Why do people stay in a job they hate? The human psyche fears change. The world we live in is conditioning us with a fear mentality and so we stick to what is familiar even if it causes us pain and upset because we are afraid of the alternative.

We all have a need for some type of certainty and this varies from person to person. But living our life needing to know and control every aspect is our lives is keeping us stuck and lacking clarity for who we really are. We end up confusing ourselves by making choices that don’t align with how we wish to feel, keeping ourselves stuck and lacking real passion for life. When you let go of control you see so much more clearly.


Clarity comes when you let go of this certainty. 


Life is not fixed, it never was. Life today evolves at a spectacular pace! What is right today may be wrong tomorrow, what is right in this moment may be wrong in the next. Those things set in stone that we conform to may change when you least expect it. Life is not meant to be pigeonholed and you have to be alert in each moment. It is fast moving & not meant to be static, so resisting change only creates more frustration and pain.

The Flow Of Life 

There’s an ebb and flow to life, just like the laws of nature. Our lives should be able to flow like a beautiful waterfall effortlessly trickles down the stones and rocks into the pool below. When we are living true to who we are, this is how we are able to live, a life of flow and ease.  We are meant to flow, be dynamic, alive with energy. 

When we are aware that this flow is available to us, we can start to change. It is this awareness that can create clarity if you commit to becoming who you are meant to be.  We hold on to certainty to give us a sense of control. We hold on to who we have been because we don’t know the person we are to become. But the most powerful sense of control actually comes from letting it go! Cultivating trust and letting your inner pilot light guide you gives you an unbelievable amount of freedom. The myth is that when we let go we lose control, but actually we REGAIN control.

Uncertainty is where we flourish and grow the most. It is also where we encounter struggle & pain. This is why so many resist growth & change because they are resisting feeling any pain.


slingshot pain

I used to be one with little pain and little joy (even though I did feel pain I would suppress it and pretend that life was great and that I was happy. It was all a lie.) Eventually that catches up to you. And the amazing thing is that when you eventually feel the pain it can transform your life.

Would you rather have little pain, but also feel little joy? Or would you rather deal with any pain, heartbreak & failure to be able to feel the joy and magic of life?

With uncertainty comes risk taking, letting go and relinquishing control. Spontaneity thrives in a life of uncertainty. We have space to move, dance, play and trust in what is to come. Just like energy flows when we let go on that dance floor, opportunity and creative ideas flows when we move through life with the same freedom.

Life On Your Terms

The one thing that happy and deeply fulfilled people all have in common is a commitment themselves to do what makes them happy. This means jumping into the slingshot of life and taking a risk not knowing where they’ll end up. Isn’t that half of the fun? An adventure is always waiting for you?! 

To do this you must commit to yourself that you will put yourself first. Choose to live a life on YOUR TERMS, letting go of the fear of what your parents will say, or how your friends will react to your new life path. Despite the notion that society labels this as selfish, you owe yourself this. Putting yourself first is self love and respect, not selfish. When you do this you finally see clearly!

You come first, but you have to listen to your heart and have the courage to take bold action! Brush off the criticism or judgement that comes your way (which it most likely will.) Live your own life regardless of what anybody else including what your nearest and dearest think. The ones who love you for you won’t change their opinion of you for following your dreams & creating a full & vibrant life. 

Peace & love

Screen Shot 2016-07-22 at 12.03.10 cast-a-new-level-of-self-love    
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