Today I thought I’d share some really insightful exercises & questions with you that have worked for both me personally and my clients. Having worked with women who are following a purpose but can get lost along the way with a million things to do, leading a busy life, there are KEY factors that help them back on track.
I truly believe that what enabled one particular client to transform her thought patterns in less than 4 hours coaching was that she began to feel successful on a daily basis.
Yeah, you guessed it! Success is not a destination, it is a journey. It’s a daily discipline. It is a DAILY REALITY! The little steps you take take you closer on your walk through life.
As women, in particular, we are hard on ourselves. We punish ourselves for not doing enough, for not being skinny enough, tall enough, strong enough, earning enough and we have trouble accepting ourselves for who we are. There’s a constant pressure to be better, look better, feel better and do more.
Don’t you agree that this has to stop?
No mater how ‘awake’ or enlightened we are, there can be events & experiences that regress us back to being our biggest critic. We become incredibly stressed. Adrenal fatigue is so dangerous, not to mention it causes us to crave fat, sugar and salt!!! Talk about entering a vicious cycle!
How do you avoid falling into this cycle?
You plan to exercise more.
You want to lose weight.
You find ways to feel successful based on paycheque, recognition, encouragement and love & attention from your partner.
You give to others to help them when in fact you are the one you need to help first.
All of these are worthy things to consider as I am sure they are very real issues. But the problem with doing this, is your self-acceptance with these ways is not self-acceptance at all. It is MASKING THE EMOTIONAL UPSET that has caused the weight gain, lack of sleep, no exercise, low income or whatever else it is to manifest in the first place.
Everything you have is a result of how you’ve felt. The results you get tomorrow or next month, are the results of how you feel today.
So until you resolve your emotional heartache, fears, conscious & unconscious beliefs, your results will be the same. So what happens? You are always searching. You are always feeling like you’re missing something. You are always focusing on lack. But that longing will, never go away until you find it within yourself.
HOW DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?
Are you kind or cruel?
Forgiving or punishing?
Loving or critical?
Succeeding or failing?
Winning or losing?
EVERYTHING you think about yourself has a profound impact on your daily actions. Your unconscious is hard at work making everything it hears into a reality. So if your idea of success is totally unattainable, if you have a vision of what you want to achieve but don’t truly feel that you will attain it, guess what? You won’t!
YOU WILL CHANGE WHEN YOU FULLY COMMIT TO THE BELIEF THAT BY CHOOSING THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK & SEND OUT TO THE UNIVERSE.
THEN you will produce an effect that is real and in alignment with what you truly connect with & wish for yourself.
So, you are not punished for your thoughts and feelings, but BY them!!!
Have you ever thought to yourself,
“I can’t believe it…Why does this always happen to me?…Why can’t I lose the weight? …Why can’t I get past this? ….Why can’t I feel better?” etc etc
Instead of continuing down the spiral, ask yourself…
”How can I think feel and behave differently to produce the effect / result I want?”
Thoughts come from programming and conditioning, and deep rooted emotional upsets that you may not have even been conscious of. They are like a weight on the invisible rucksack on your back. Getting anywhere is draining & exhausting but you don’t know why.
The home environment we grew up in may have created a feeling of not being good enough by being shadowed by a sibling. Parents could have fought and you blamed yourself. They were successful with money but then lost everything leaving you with fears of your own about your own future. Whatever happens in your past has an impact on your future if it is left unresolved.
Understanding how you think about success and how this can hold you back creates room for you to create ways you can accept yourself more. Be happy with your actions and maybe even give yourself a pat on the back for doing the smallest of things well.
Ask yourself these questions – DO NOT SKIP – This is vitally important to understand your own rules and conditions on how you can enjoy success.
1. What has to happen for you to feel successful?
2. What conditions have to be met?
3. What do you have to get done each day to feel like you’ve achieved anything?
4. What does success actually mean to you? What does a picture of success look like?What does it feel like when you have achieved it?
5. How do other people’s opinions on your achievements and what you looks like impact your self-esteem?
6. How do you let past achievements, perceived failures & opinions of others impact your thoughts now?
An example of this was how i felt 2 years ago. For me to feel successful I had to reach a certain income bracket AND earn praise and recognition from my team leaders AND gain 30 more clients AND get a boyfriend who loved me AND when I was asked to speak at various events AND when my family told me they were proud of me AND when I managed my money better. ALL of these had to be met for me to feel successful.
I mean talk about crazy!!!!
My rules were far too high, it is as though I didn’t want to enjoy success. but the fact is I was scared. I had no idea what I do would with success when I got it, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. My business & income were growing but I didn’t hold onto my money because on an unconscious level I didn’t believe I deserved it so I spent it!
Your thoughts, conscious or unconscious create and shape your future! Do you see the world in black & white? Cold & gloomy with no other options? Or do you see it in colour? Vibrant, flexible, loving, warm with limitless choices?
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS – SHIFT YOUR REALITY – TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE:
When you understand that you are not bound by the chains of your past – when you live a life that is greater than your body, your time – ALL things are possible.
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF, JUST AS YOU ARE.
If you have answered the above questions truthfully, now you know how you feel about success and what needs to happen to punish yourself less.
Now it’s time to make it EASY for you to feel successful. For you to feel the love for yourself.
When we are achieving, we feel happy, we are proud of ourselves. Implement these 5 key tips:
1. SELF AWARENESS & INTERRUPTION
As soon as you hear the negative self-talk that you have to do more, that you’re not enough, give yourself permission to interrupt with a new message.
I AM WORTHY. I BELONG. (YOUR NAME) YOU ARE AMAZING. I LOVE YOU. I AM ENOUGH. I AM LOVE, I AM SUCCESS, I DESERVE SUCCESS.
You can say these aloud, commit them to paper and place them prominently around your home, or just think them. Whatever works for you, start to give yourself a new message.
2. EASY SUCCESS STATEMENTS
Write out in a simple statement a way you can feel successful every day. Make it easy for yourself. ALLOW yourself to do something right, without any punishing thoughts or feelings.
I feel successful ANYTIME I make a breakfast smoothie.
I feel successful WHENEVER I speak to a happy client.
I feel happy ANYTIME I do some exercise.
3. WRITE IN A JOURNAL
Get your feelings out on paper. And out of your head. Any unresolved negative emotions are kept in your body if you do not understand them to let them go. You are keeping emotional poison in your body, that is sucking out the life force out. When you write things out, you can sometimes resolve the feeling as you write, it’s like magic! I cannot express enough how important this is!
4. KEEP A GRATITUDE LIST
We hear this so commonly, but how many of us actually stick to it? Living in a warm and joyful heart comes from appreciating what we have, who we have around us and living in the moment. Keep yourself focused on all the good.
CHOOSE your thoughts, CHOOSE your feelings.
5. NURTURE YOURSELF
I keep a list of everything I love to do that makes my heart sing, that leaves me feeling so relaxed and happy. It’s easy to forget to do the thins for ourselves that make us feel good, especially if we feel like we don’t deserve it. But you ALREADY deserve it, so make the time for a massage, or a spa trip, or a warm bubble bath, or a dance with the girls.
If you wait until you deserve it, you might never decide that you do. So do it now!
We see lists like the one I have shared with you pop up in blogs, but rarely do we learn the deeper issues as to why we need to implement these things.
Each and everyone of us has unlimited potential, but cannot see it because our heads can be filled with mindless clutter.
When we understand what success means to us and relax our rules around the subject, life becomes far less frustrating and achieving your purpose becomes much more attainable. I truly believe this is a BIG reason why so many women feel like they are not good enough. Just a lack of clarity on how they can enjoy success and achievement.
So, before you write your next business goals, or create a vision for your future, look at your deeper issue surrounding success and how you can feel successful on a daily basis. Because that day shapes the rest of your life!
I hope going through this process has been helpful and you’ve enjoyed reading!