6 Steps To Make Your Thoughts A Friend Not A Foe

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see things sa you would have them be not as they actually are

How do you overcome thoughts & feelings of trauma, self-doubt, negativity and the excuses your mind comes up with to avoid doing what you committed to? How can you master your own thoughts to create inner calm & personal freedom?

When I decided I wanted to create lasting success and taste what REAL FREEDOM is, I first had to unlearn the thought and beliefs I’d lived with for so long. Consistent work to change my thoughts had created huge change & success in living more in ALIGNMENT with who I really am. But for the first few days after the robbery, the traumatic visual of walking into my home & seeing everything everywhere was all I could see.

My mind was reliving the event over and over, so much so that it was physiologically affecting me. The trauma I felt, I was continuing to feel. I felt exactly the same in those moments as I did on that night. My mind was creating MORE of what I went through. It happened once, yet my mind was reliving it every night. So the stress on my body was increasing more and more as those images and feelings were being relived.

In life, you endure all type of people, events and circumstances all shaping you to be who you are and who you are becoming. Yes bad things can happen to us, but if you’re reliving them over and over again, who’s creating more pain?

The robbers robbed me once, but I was reliving that pain each night and letting them affect my happiness. So I was creating more pain from ONE isolated incident! Now that really is painful to think I’m the one creating more pain.

On a quantum level, your brain is creating neural circuits in the brain to make everything ‘equal’ to those traumatic thoughts. So the result being you create more of the same. Your brain is becoming hard-wired to reflect the problems and personal circumstances in your life.

As you train a muscle in the gym to grow, you train your brain to be positive or negative, empowering or disempowering. If you don’t exercise, watch your muscles lose strength, flexibility and agility. Your thoughts are no different to your body’s muscles.

You can’t control everything that happens in your life, but you can take control of your most prized possession.

…Your mind.

So to change you must be greater than ALL things. To life to the fullest, you must master your thoughts. You unconsciously live by a set of memorised behaviours, thoughts and emotional reactions all running like computer programs without you consciously being aware of it. As the late Dr Wayne Dyer said in an interview with Oprah,

“It’s not enough to think positively, that’s why The Secret in may ways is flawed. You must FEEL it from your heart, you must BELIEVE and be in ALIGNMENT WITH that positive thought.”

Basically, it’s not enough to think positive because most of who you are might really deep down be negative and deeply pained. So thinking positively will only push you further out of alignment with who you really are.

This could come from suffering huge financial loss, suffering abuse, heartbreak of a failed relationship, losing a family member, or living with crippling injury or terminal illness. Whatever it is, if you block out the pain, then those unresolved emotions are residing within you and probably infiltrating your thoughts. You have 60,000 thoughts a day, so it’s highly likely!

That pain affects EVERYTHING you do. It becomes a MEMORISED behaviour. It happens WITHOUT YOU REALISING it. Let’s take a look at how many people deal with relationships:

If you suffer heartbreak from a cheating partner, the happy, loving, open-hearted person you were before could be turned into a sad, cold, untrusting cynic who thinks that they won’t find love again.

Your time is spent not fully dealing with the emotional pain but instead…continually thinking that you did something wrong and were the victim of another man’s infidelity. Thinking that all men are cheating b*stards & that you’re going to stay away from men because you don’t want to get hurt or go through that again. Feeling like you have to put your barriers up and not let anyone get close to you again or go on a series of one-night meaningless flings to avoid getting truly naked by opening up your heart.

Whether you know it or not, these are all becoming memorised behaviours, habitual thought patterns and emotional reactions. This is how you can lose the authenticity of who you really are.

Have you ever noticed that someone who was deeply hurt by an ex created the same patterns in their next relationship? Or stayed cynical about the opposite sex? And have you noticed those that have the emotional intelligence and awareness to deal with traumatic events come back stronger, learn from them and grow and achieve more as a result?

That is because they have mastered the art of changing their thoughts, or at least having a high awareness of them.

Understanding your thoughts and feelings about what happens in your life and how to change them is they key to unlocking more fulfilment and living with real freedom. 

So how did I overcome the thoughts and visuals of this traumatic event? And how can you do the same in your life?

Simple…a positive visual. You only need a flashlight of consciousness that takes over the negativity in the darkness.
When you see any image, the following 6 steps need to happen:
1. Awareness that you are allowing this image to enter your thoughts
2. Acceptance that it’s normal for them re-occur
3. Choosing to think a different thought and see a different image
4. Deep breaths. Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, exhale through the mouth for 5 seconds.
5. Think of a new image. A joyous, happy and peaceful image.
6. Visualise what that image looks like, act out a story in that image. Feel yourself living in that image, as though you are no longer in your body but in that picture. Feel it and REALLY LIVE it! Feel it in your heart.
It is no coincidence that every successful sports star, motivational speaker, actor and entrepreneur are advocates of visualisation. I have recently read Oprah’s books and she talks of using this tool every day including wisdom such as:

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe. ”

Not surprisingly she is one of the most successful women the world has ever seen. But regardless of the circumstances that you’re in, you can use visualisation to mentally rehearse an outcome you want to create in your life.

Whether you’re stuck at 5 figures in your business & cannot see how you can break into the elite earner’s club, whether you don’t feel loved enough by your partner, or whether you are suffering from lack of energy or a chronic illness……It’s not to be underestimated. For visualisation to be powerful enough to create results, it must be done consistently to rewire those circuits in your brain.

Remember every thought and feeling we have become a memorised behaviour on a quantum & energetic level, so naturally if we visualise & think we already ARE what we wish to become, then it’s only a matter of time before it is manifested.

Visualisation is a very powerful tool at our disposal, but most of the world are plagued by visions of their past traumas, heartbreaks and failures.

Being creative with your visualisation enables you to:

      Choose what you occupy your mind with.

Who you want to be.
How you wish to feel every day.
Where you wish to live.
What you will achieve
The vibrant health you have.
The feeling of true love.
Who you will attract into your life.
AND Then really LIVING & FEELING how this feels.

It’s far more fun visualising this than the sight of my home post-robbery, but you must have the awareness of your thoughts first of all. After doing this for only two nights, the visions stopped & I was able to focus on what I wanted again far more easily.

Pull yourself towards an exciting future rather than a tormenting past by changing what you allow to stay in your mind. The more you picture it, the more you will start to believe it.


“See things as you would have them be instead of as they are – Robert Collier.

Much love

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